Sober as a Bird (SAAB)

The short version (because no one really remembers the story fully)

Derby day in Seattle on July 14th 2014 happened to follow the World Cup Final between Germany and Argentina. The Timbers Army booked out the Showbox SODO for a viewing party and we all arrived shortly before noon.

We watched the entire World Cup Final while drinking, smoking, and generally being jolly TA:COs. We lined up outside SODO to march to the Clink. By the time we reached our seats in the upper deck, everyone was tired, hot, drunk, and still ready for a derby match. Some of us were more “ready” than others, especially Matt Wastro.

Visibly flushed, giggly, and very energetic Matt was having a great time. TA:CO kept checking on him to make sure he was okay. His response every single time was, “Sooooooooober as a bird!” while slurring his speech and wobbling. This happened no fewer than 15 times during that match, and continued to the after party at Owl and Thistle.

Matt had no recollection of these events until the next day when we laughed about it. He tried to deny it, but there were too many witnesses and ultimately we kept the phrase as our own.

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