The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life

The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life

It’s easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don’t seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health?

The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose or help someone else to choose a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you.

Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.

Details

  • Listening Length: 9 hoursand22 minutes
  • Program Type: Audiobook
  • Version: Unabridged
  • Publisher: Audible Studios
  • Audible.com Release Date: July 31, 2012
  • Whispersync for Voice: Ready
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008RAADQQ
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5 comments

  1. Dr. Les Carter has done it again! No wonder he is called “America’s Anger Expert.” With The Anger Trap he has put together his years of experience and wisdom on this important subject to provide us with a way out of this insidious trap called anger. Years ago I read his first book on the subject, Good ‘N Angry (now out of print, I believe), and more recently completed his very practical best-seller, The Anger Workbook. Both exercises helped me deal with issues that subtly yet surely were negatively affecting my life and relationships.
    Now comes, I believe, Dr. Carter’s “magnum opus.” One of the values of The Anger Trap is that Carter not only identifies anger and it’s nature, but deals with the root causes (such as fear, loneliness, rejection, insecurity, and especially pain.) “Angry people are hurting, fragile people,” Carter points out. And, “At the heart of anger is a cry for respect.” But, to me, one of the most insightful observations Carter makes is, “As illogical as it may be, it can seem to outside observers that chronically angry people have a strong commitment to keeping distasteful emotions alive.” Carter encourages us to deal with these underlying causes if we are to have any kind of meaningful victory over anger.
    The chapter on dependency and hidden insecurity (Chapter 6: “Insecurity’s Hold on Angry People”) is especially interesting and illuminating. In this chapter Carter discusses how angry people are so busy trying to make others take responsibility for their own emotional stability that they stay stuck in the anger they want to be free of.Read more ›

  2. I’ve dealt with anger issues for years and have heard plenty of advice and couselling, but this is by far the most practical guide I’ve encountered. Les’s writing style makes his concepts easy to understand, even though the concepts themselves are not simplistic. Les has distilled his 30 years of counseling experience into very useable advice on how to overcome the negative consequences of mishandled anger. While many other authors and counselors major primarily on the causes of anger, they mostly grow frustratingly silent on how to change the negative behavior that stems from anger. While Les doesn’t offer a promise that you’ll never be angry again if you apply his suggestions, his insights are very helpful in minimizing the harm to others and yourself when that inevitable angry moment comes.

    This book has been life-changing for me. I heartily recommend it to anyone trying to come to grips with their destructive anger-related behaviors.

  3. I was first attracted to this book after realizing I am frustrated or angry most of the time. After 5 chapters, I can say that this is what no one ever tells you. Read this book even if you do not consider yourself an angry person. And order one for everyone you care about. A+++++ Many thanks to the authors for this easy to read epiphany. I have been in the dark tooo long. It is time to live to my full potential. With this information I can end the cycle of generation after generation of poor emotional/coping skills.

  4. There are some VERY positive reviews for this book on this site so I purchased it. But after having read it myself I now regard these reviews as suspect, especially the first glowing one, which smells of a shill.

    Let me tell you why: The book is pretty much a collection of mundane stories about “real” clients of the author with insight into their troubled childhoods, past fears, etc. and how those past traumas have left them with anger issues. It is classic blame-it-on-your-unfortunate-past psycho-babble with very little advice on how to deal with anger in the here and now, regardless of what the causes may be.

    If you suffer from anger issues and really want to deal with them, the last thing you want to do is waste time reading cliche’ stories of other individuals’ bad relationships with their parents or spouses. Instead, I recommend an approach like that of Anger Busting 101 by Newton Hightower because it provides immediate steps to take to begin resolving the problem, without all the needless delving into the “root” of anger. And no, I am not a shill for Hightower, just a consumer trying to prevent others from making the same mistake I did.

  5. I thought the Anger Trap was very insightful and as I read through it I recognized my typical anger-generating habits of thinking. I also learned ways to retrain my thinking – slowly but surely – in order the respond to things less emotionally. I also learned that when I am “angry” I am probably really something else – disappointed, afraid, frustrated, feeling rejected or dismissed. When I start to get mad now I pause and ask myself, “what is really going on here?” and that alone has enabled me to explore other sides to my personality that I have tried to ignore for the last 30 yrs. I can get through situations that used to make me blow my top as a sane, calm person now. It helps to dialogue with myself (silently, of course, lest they get the net!) by using techniques from the book.

    My only beef with the premise (it’s always something…) is that the author goes with the idea that anger comes from past problems. Grow up with a dad who yells or hits and you’ll yell or hit. However, there are many studies that show that a violent home does not necessarily beget a violent child, a calm home does not beget a calm child. Just as anxiety can run in families or depression, might not problems such as overreaction to stimulus? If the dad is a yeller, perhaps it is his genes that pass on the anger and not his yelling. Otherwise, why don’t all people from certain types of parents exhibit the behavior? I bring this up, because it is easier to face the problem sometimes when there is no one to blame (except perhaps God, if you lean that way). Rather than bemoan the mess a parent has made of one, it might be better to treat it as a limp that runs in the family but was not bequeathed with any malice. You have the limp, now figure out how to walk with it. You have the temper, now figure out how to respond to life as a decent human being with it.

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